Are you okay? Am I okay? Are we okay?

Assalamualaikum.


Are you okay?

What happened?

Are the memories kept coming back?

Are you having a hard time?

What are those smiles?

How's life?

How's your migraine?


there are so many things that I would like to ask you.

but there are limits to what I can from what I want.


Suddenly I can't access to your blog.

The place where I learned a lot about you.

Maybe there is an explanation to it.

If the choice you made is because of me,

If I ever annoyed you even for a second,

I apologize.

If not I still want to apologize for everything that I may irks you.

Now I decided to focus on my studies, InsyaALLAH.

Pray for me.

But I will never forget all of this, InsyaALLAH.


If we're fated to meet again,
I'll pray for ALLAH to ease everything.


May ALLAH bless us.
till then,
Lots of love.

A daisy.

Assalamualaikum.

A daisy.
Lately I kept posting pictures of daisies on my instagram account.

Some might wondering why, some don't even bother to know and others might not even noticed them.

Of all flowers, why daisy?


So I'm asking all of you back,
Why not daisy?

I admit, I loved flowers. Any flowers especially roses for their smell and elegant appearance.

Differently like any other flowers, daisy left a deep meaning for me.

As a biological student, let me formally introduce this flower that is named daisy.

Came from Asteraceae family, there are over 22,000 species in this category.
 Just like me, a common girl like a common flower.

It can grows easily, which shows how independent it is.

It can grow in all sorts of conditions.
Just like how daisy can stand in rough environment, I'd like to be strong like this pure flower.

It doesn't need any special care. Daisy just need a place to grow. A space. A chance.


Daisy the symbol for loyal love and commitment.

Open your heart,
let me grow there and show you how to love this life.

May ALAH bless.

till then,

lots of love.

Assalamualaikum.

Not good enough.

Assalamualaikum.

It has been a quite long time since the last time I dropped by.

Cliché. Been busy. Normal life as a student and a human.

Ahh..and we've entered Syawal. Alhamdulillah. Still, I missed the blessed month, Ramadhan.

Thinking of stopping by here for a while. Recalling all the words, thoughts, memories and emotions that I've poured and spilled in here.

A small space that I would like to claim as my own secret place.

Where I can honestly speak up my mind be ignorant about the world, the people and the judgement.

I'm afraid of building trust towards anybody. I'm afraid of their thoughts about me. I'm afraid of people's expectations.

Most of all I'm feeling that I am not good enough.

I'm at the verge of crying. Choked up. Holding hard my breath. Not gonna let anyone hear me. Not gonna let anyone notice me. All alone.


But I got Him. Now and forever.

May ALLAH bless us.

till then,

Lots of love.

Berubah

 

 

Assalamualaikum.

 

 

Masih begini.

Di sini membawa resah bersama.

 

 

Aku perlu berhenti.

Berhenti dari cuba memuaskan hati orang lain.

Berhenti dari melukakan hati sendiri.

 

 

Aku perlu berhenti seketika.

Tetapi tidak akan pernah melupakan.

 

 

Kerna aku percaya,

What meant to be will always be.

 

 

Harapan ku masih menggunung tinggi

Agar satu hari nanti menjadi realiti.

 

 

Jika tidak di sini,

Mungkin di akhirat sana.

 

 

 

Aku cuma mampu berdoa agar kau bahagia.

Semoga secebis bahagia buat dirimu

Cukup untuk membuatku tersenyum gembira.

 

 

 

Harapan dan doa,

Buat selamanya

 

 

Akhir kalam.

 

till then,

 

 

Assalamualaikum.

 

Lots of love.

Tembikar

 

 

 

Assalamualaikum.

 

 

Hadir lagi.

 

Acap kali hadirkan diri ke sini kebelakangan ini.

 

Mungkin banyak yang tersimpan dihati.

 

 

.....

 

 

Ujian.

 

Mana bisa berlari dari satu itu

saat masih mengendong tanggungjawab sebagai hambaNya.

 

 

Di sini segala kata aku ingin sampaikan buat kamu.

 

dan

aku sendiri.

 

 

Sebolehnya semua agar dapat di renung semula.

 

 

 

.....

 

 

Aku lihat kau makin lemah.

 

 

Tak berdaya menanggung derita sedih dijiwa.

 

 

Tiada penawar.

Tiada ubat.

Tiada apa.

 

 

 

Hanya ini dapat aku berikan buat kamu.

 

 

Barisan kata tulus dari hatiku.

Agar kau bisa berhenti merenung masa lalu.

berhenti menyiksa jiwamu itu.

 

 

.....

 

 

Masih aku ingat setiap tutur bicara.

 

Tegap.

Yakin.

Tegas.

 

 

Di mana dia.

 

Aku pasti kau sendiri tertanya.

 

.....

 

Pernah kau terduga kenapa semua ini berlaku?

 

Bertubi soalan menjengah ke benak?

 

Pernahkah?

 

 

Dibawah ini untuk renungan aku, kau, kita dan semua.

 

 

Tahukah engkau

bahawa sebelum terhasilnya sebuah tembikar

yang terukir cantik,

licin tekstur tubuhnya,

yang utuh menahan jatuh

 

dia si tembikar terlebih dahulu dibakar?

 

Tidak pula sewenang wenangnya dilempar ke api marak pedih.

 

Semua mengikut keperluan

 

sudah diatur

 

masanya

 

suhunya

 

serba serbi teliti oleh pembuatnya.

 

 

.....

 

 

Serasa aku kamu sudah merungkai apa ingin aku sampaikan.

 

Ya,

 

seperti si tembikar

aku ibaratkan kita didunia ini.

 

 

 

Seperti sang api yang galak membakar

ujian itu aku umpamakan.

 

 

Hasilnya?

 

Tidak pernah mengecewakan bukan?

 

Secantik, sehalus dan seutuh tembikar itu

aku contohkan kita setelah dilanda ujian.

 

Lebih baik.

Lebih elok.

Lebih berkualiti.

 

 

Setiap keperluan sang tembikar

 

masa

suhu

dan serba serbinya

 

 

aku umpamakan jenis ujian yang diberi

 

saat terbaiknya

tujuannya.

 

dari

 

Dia Sang Pencipta yang Maha Mengetahui.

 

 

.....

 

 

Ombak yang memukul pantai

merosak dinding rumahmu hari ini

 

 

Mungkin menjadi keperluan

buat menolak sampan kecilmu pada esok hari.

 

 

Percayalah bahawa semuanya mengikut kehendak Dia.

Hanya menjadi pemangkin semangat untuk hari hari mendatang.

 

 

Bukan tidak pernah mentitis sang mutiara berharga,

bukan tidak pernah rasa hibanya berduka,

bukan tidak pernah rasa luka kecewa.

 

Cuma aku masih percaya

ada sinar dihujung sana.

.....

 

 

Janganlah kau tertunduk sedih,

lemah jatuh bahumu.

 

Tetapi,

jangan pula kau mendongak tinggi

mendabik dada.

 

 

Lihatlah ke depan,

teguhkan langkahmu,

kuatkan jiwamu

jangan pernah kau ragu.

 

 

Aku, kami, mereka dan semua masih punya masa,

memapah, mendokong dan terus menyokong kembali jika pernah kau lemah.

 

Kau juga masih punya Dia buat penenang rasa.

 

.....

 

 

 

 

Maaf aku pohon kerana tidak bijak menyusun bicara.

 

tidak pandai bermadah pujangga

jika nukilan mengguris jiwa

 

aku hanya gadis biasa

 

yang ingin melihat secoret senyuman di bibir mu sahaja.

 

 

 

.....

 

 

Tidak banyak yang aku pinta dari Dia Yang Maha Esa,

 

kembalikan senyuman buat semua kesayangan yang bertakhta dijiwa

agar semua sentiasa gembira.

 

 

 

.....

 

 

till then,

 

 

Assalamualaikum.

 

May ALLAH bless us.

 

Lots of love.

 

 

 

 

 



The Rain

 

 

 

 

Assalamualaikum.

 

 

It's raining.

 

 

Again.

 

 

Rain.

 

 

Nothing across my mind except you and your pain.

 

 

.....

 

 

I get to know that you love the rain.

 

 

I jump into the rain without hesitation.

 

 

To join you.

 

 

To know you.

 

 

 

To be with you.

 

 

.....

 

 

 

Without knowing

 

 

 

 

You were crying in the rain.

 

 

It is not the rain that you love.

 

 

 

 

It's the memory of both of you.

 

 

 

.....

 

 

 

Without I realized

 

 

I'm waiting for you.

 

 

Crying with you.

 

 

 

In the rain.

 

 

 

Shivering to my bones.

 

 

Accompanied by the coldness.

 

 

Alone.

 

.....

 

 

 

till then,

 

 

 

Assalamualaikum.

 

 

 

May ALLAH bless us.

 

 

Lots of love.

 

 

 



Songs

 

 

 

 

Assalamualaikum.

 

 

It is fascinating how everything connects together.

 

 

I was surfing the net and find a reality show that sings legendary songs.

 

 

In Korean.

 

Without any hesitation I started to watch the show.

 

 

Topic of the week is rain.

 

 

All the songs related to rain.

 

 

Suddenly I heard rain drops outside my window.

 

 

Slowly it started to become heavy.

 

 

Just like my heart.

 

 

At the moment.

 

 

The songs are like my stories.

 

 

It feels like they try to comfort me.

 

 

Each word left a mark in my heart.

 

 

How amazing the way it delivered the message

 

that I can't deliver it myself.

 

It feels like my heart is talking to me.

 

Crying out loud with me.

 

 

 

The title of the song that captivated me is

 

Do You Like The Spring Rain So Much.

 

 

Sums up everything.

 

 

till then,

 

 

Assalamualaikum.

 

May ALLAH bless us.

 

 

Lots of love.